Listen Linda

Life is full of chaos. There’s chaos to living. There’s chaos to holding on. And there is most certainly chaos in letting go. And trusting the unknown. But in reference to addiction disorders…letting go isn’t an external disorder. It’s the internal unraveling. There is emotional turbulence. There is this identity shift that comes when we release something deeply tied to our sense of self, safety, or story.

The chaos is there because letting go will often mean stepping away from routines, relationships, beliefs that have woven themselves tight in our emotional architecture.  And even if those patterns were harmful. They made use predictable, because our brains crave certainty. “Better the Devil you know.” Is a silent mantra, making such a release feel like rebellion, does it not?

But letting go isn’t a clean break, it’s a sacred mess. In that mess, there is movement. So, in this mess, there is life.

The chaos in letting go gives birth to uncertainty.  Because chaos is the liminal space between what was and what will be. And a lot of times what will be unforeseen. But one thing that isn’t as a first thought with the chaos of letting go…there is creation. That once we surrender. Letting go of the chaos that makes life so unmanageable, our lives become alchemy.

This was just a passing thought before I went to bed. That letting go doesn’t mean losing—it means making room. For breath. For truth. And for rebirth. The chaos is the in-between. Thew void. The place where the old has died but the new hasn’t arrived…it sounds terrifying. But It’s also holy. In my opinion. Because in the spaces between where and what we were and what we not yet will be, we are becoming.