Listen Linda

What exactly is an apology?

It’s more than just saying “I’m Sorry”. It’s the regretful acknowledgement of an offense or failure.

So, then what exactly is an amends?

It’s defined as a sacred concept between acknowledgement and transformation. It’s more about rebuilding trust, reclaiming integrity, and stepping into a new version of ourselves. It’s an unspoken truth that real healing doesn’t come from words alone, but from the actions that follow. And this is true.

They say that true amends require courage and humility. And it does. To admit that we were wrong. To take accountability of past behaviors isn’t an easy thing to do. It’s also about self-awareness. Because it makes us examine not just what we did, but why we did it.

Anyone can say, “I’m Sorry.” But if the behavior doesn’t change. And actions don’t match the supposedly ‘changed behavior’. Are they sorry? Does that apology hold weight?

It’s obvious that it’s the changed behavior that really matters.  To show proof through decisions, words, and gestures that we have transformed. The moment where redemption meets integrity is where true healing is found. And it’s even more than about proving to others that we are capable of growth and change. It’s about proving to ourselves that we are capable of growth and change.

Not everyone will accept our amends. Some wounds run deep. And when apathy sinks its claws deep. People may not be ready to reconcile. Some people may just not want to period. And that’s unfortunate. But that’s okay. There is art of making amends by releasing control over other’s reactions. We need to own our transformation. If someone doesn’t want to meet us halfway, honor their space and continue the journey forward, without resentment, without guilt, but more understanding.  

You can’t force forgiveness out of anyone. It’s more about living in truth and moving forward with understanding and clarity.

Believe it or not, I’m learning that this is a lifelong practice—one step, one choice, one action at a time. And to simply put, making an amend is choosing wholeness even when it’s uncomfortable. And being at peace with knowing you have done the right thing. Whether or not others recognize it.

So there’s this intersection of amends and compromise.

Some people choose to heal in solitude, whether it’s because they choose it, or are forced to do it, or because they like it. Believe it or not, healing requires meeting people where they are.  Emotionally, and mentally. This would mean recognizing their readiness, listening to their perspective, and adjusting expectations.

You must balance accountability with empathy. Because making the amends isn’t just about clearing the slate and walking away with a guilt free conscience. You still must balance repairing the other’s trust and fostering growth.

Healing is a two-way street after all. So, it’s going to require patience, openness, and the willingness to understand that reconciliation may look different than planned. If one doesn’t accept our amends, we can still honor the process. Because sometimes the best way to meet someone halfway is to give them space.