Listen Linda

Detaching ourselves from certain people, places, circumstances, environments…this ability to remain unbothered by certain emotions these things evoke–is a trauma response. A defense mechanism. A temporary shield from having to feel something. And it’s probably something that does need to be delt with further down the road of emotional healing. But, in the meantime sometimes being able to become unbothered can be a tool, and as I see it for myself a strength.

Detachment isn’t just a response; it is a quiet sanctuary we retreat to when life feels like it’s overwhelmingly too much. It’s much like a suit of armor we wear to protect us from the world from pressing into our tender spaces. It’s a way of holding ourselves together in the face of what could unravel us. Detachment being a strength doesn’t erase what pain we feel, but it allows us to carry it without collapsing.

When I do think of the moments, I’ve had to detach myself from people or memories that once meant everything to me. I’m technically folding up a piece of my heart and tucking it away, somewhere deep where it can’t break open too easily. Granted there always be a heaviness in that choice—a bittersweet ache that lingers in the corners of my mind.  And though I don’t unpack it all at once, I know that one day I will. For every wound requires its moment in the sun to heal.

Yet, in that space where I am still learning how to live alongside those emotions, detachment becomes my lifeline. It’s that boundary between me and the world too sharp. It’s my way of reclaiming my peace, of stepping back and saying, “Not right now, not today.”

Least us not forget that for all its complexity, detachment is a teacher too. It reminds me that I am more than my grief or my pain. It shows me that even when I feel unkind towards myself, I am still learning and growing. Detachment, in its way, allows me to breathe again. And perhaps, that’s the truest expression of strength—it doesn’t eliminate the storms; It simply helps me survive them until I’m ready to feel the sun again.