Listen Linda

Why do we overthink about making any decision?

Well in a nutshell, it’s a trauma response that is tethered to prior adversity that has caused us fear of not being good enough. Over thinking is a form of self-sabotage that is linked to an unconscious survival strategy, and research into unconscious underpinnings of our behaviors. In fact, (cf. Weinberger & Stoycheva, 2019) suggests all mental life has the component of what we call self-sabotage in a present moment could actually be motivated by unconscious goals and decisions, along with adaptations that in the past, saved our lives. Or at least preserved our mental health. And according to (cf. Weinberger & Stoycheva, 2019) what we called maladaptive behavior or self-fulfilling prophecy today, at one time, a strategy for survival.

So, in all seriousness, when we notice behaviors and go to label it as a form of self-sabotage, we need to realize that it’s a defense mechanism. That those patterns of acting out, that led one to this point of behavior are not barriers to success. We need to get a different perspective rolling. Giving the one whose self-sabotaging other options to look at.

Feelings that can trigger self-sabotaging include anxiety, fear of failure, low self-esteem, and difficulties in emotional processing.,.

Common forms of self-sabotage include procrastination, perfectionism, self-criticism, and harmful habits such as addiction.

So, it would make sense that overthinking can lead to negative thought loops, where mountains are made of mole hills. And we both wind up changing our minds.

So…how to stop it?

We need to increase our self-awareness and identify triggers and harmful patterns. We need to practice mindfulness so we can bring attention to our own thoughts. And should you need professional help to personalize and gain supportive strategies? So be it.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-everyday-unconscious/202303/the-real-reason-we-self-sabotage-and-how-to-stop?msockid=2ff41e19868f6cfa28060a81879d6d74