Listen Linda

You never recover from the disease of addiction. By working the 12 steps it leads to a spiritual breakthrough, and you learn to cope with the trauma or adverse experiences that lead to the ‘why’ we drank or used drugs. What we did to numb our pain of our reality to get through another horrible life experience.

Recovery is a lifelong process. And most of us will forever be anonymously A/A or NA or both…or whatever support group fits your triggers corelated to your addiction.

With me though? I can fit a responsible routine into my life, fill my time up with school, work, other things that could be important and have purpose in my life. But the moment I get weak and feel like I must start controlling, what I can’t control…my life becomes out of control again. And when someone wants to look me in the eye and tell me that I don’t need a program? Well, who are you to tell me what’s good for me or my recovery?  Because my recovery journey is personal. And what I have in my tool box may not help you.

I don’t need a program…well I beg the differ. If I was a recovered addict living an earthly life. Like the rest of the earth people who don’t know what’s wrong with us. I most certainly wouldn’t need a meeting. But here we are…non-problematic, unaddicted, uncompromisable me, needing to pour my heart out to a group of people that share similar triggers. And not coming to a meeting could mean life or death of. Not having a program…but having a problem…tick, tick, tick Boom. And rock bottom here we come.

But luckily, my meetings, my program, my recovery already got me hooked.